Monday, August 17, 2009

What do pets think?

(this is too funny)

Excerpt from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpt from a Cat's Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity....

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Morons.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.


shelly said...

oh sheryl isnt that the funniest pet diarieas lol
thanks for playing along on the bbtb hop.. good luck ;) i have to tell ya we have a cat named geddy (hes the black and white one on my side bar on my blog) we too thought he was a she named it tiger lily.. we did change the name though because my then husband found him injured and dying in the woods so we had no idea what his name was anyways.. the vet was the one who told us we better re think the lily part :)
have a great day :)

Shazza said...

Hi Sheryl!
Just letting you know that the new criteria has just gone up for my challenge sites for October.
Would love you to join us this month :)

ARTastic =
Inspiration this month comes from Vincent van Gogh's 'Starry Night'


From Screen 2 Scrap =
Inspiration this month comes from the movie poster 'Night at the Museum'

Don't forget to become a follower of my challenge blog sites, that way you get all the updates and info :)

International scrappers welcome